TOUR SONGS

WARNING: SOME CONTENT OF THIS PAGE CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 16!!

 

The lassie with a brown hairy arcy song.

There once was a lassie with a brown hairy arcy singing,  lala-le-lala-lala.....

There came along a jockey with an up standing cocky,
Who was shagging the lassie with a brown hairy arcy singing,  lala-le-lala-lala.....

while the wee willy wanky who was wanking in his hanky,
at the sight of the jockey with an up standing cocky,
Who was shagging the lassie with a brown hairy arcy singing,  lala-le-lala-lala.....


While the dirty Doric daisy who was sitting on the facie,
of the wee willy wanky who was wanking in his hanky,
at the sight of the jockey with an up standing cocky,
Who was shagging the lassie with a brown hairy arcy singing,  lala-le-lala-lala.....

While the Pope with the erection giving clitoral inspection,
to the dirty Doric daisy who was sitting on the facie,
of the wee willy wanky who was wanking in his hanky,
at the sight of the jockey with an up standing cocky,
Who was shagging the lassie with a brown hairy arcy singing,  lala-le-lala-lala.....

while the Dirty girl called rona who was sitting on the boner,
of the Pope with the erection giving clitoral inspection,
to the dirty Doric daisy who was sitting on the facie,
of the wee willy wanky who was wanking in his hanky,
at the sight of the jockey with an up standing cocky,
Who was shagging the lassie with a brown hairy arcy singing,  lala-le-lala-lala.....

while the girl who who works in burtons who was licking the beef curtains,
of the Dirty girl called rona who was sitting on the boner,
of the Pope with the erection giving clitoral inspection,
to the dirty Doric daisy who was sitting on the facie,
of the wee willy wanky who was wanking in his hanky,
at the sight of the jockey with an up standing cocky,
Who was shagging the lassie with a brown hairy arcy singing,  lala-le-lala-lala.....


 

The Gambler

 

 

On a warm summers evenin on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin out the window at the darkness
til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said, son, Ive made a life out of readin peoples faces,
And knowin what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you dont mind my sayin, I can see youre out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey Ill give you some advice.

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, if youre gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

Now evry gambler knows that the secret to survivin
Is knowin what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
cause evry hands a winner and evry hands a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

So when hed finished speakin, he turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count you r money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

 


Land of our Sheep Shaggers

Wales Bloody Great Fishes Are Wales!
They Swim In The Sea!
They Eat Plankton For Tea!
Oh Bloody Great Fishes Are Wales!

Dylan Thomas Shagged His Mother!
All The Welsh Men Shag Each Other!
Neil Kinnock Shagged His Mother!
Fuck Off Back To Wales!

Are You The Man That Shagged My Daughter!
Filled Her Cunt With Spunk And Water!
If You Are I Think You Ort To!
Fuck Off Back To Wales!

Wales Bloody Great Fishes Are Wales!


Jolly Good Shit (to the tune of La Marseillaise)

A French Man Went To The Lavatory!
To Have A Jolly Good Shit!
Him Pulled His Pants And Trousers Down!
So That He Could Revel In It!

But When It Came To The Paperwork!
He Found That Someone Had Bing There Before!
Oh Ah La Pepia!
Oh Ah La Pepia!
Masseur!
Jus Wee Masseur!
Oh Ah La Papia!
Oh Ah La Papia!


12 Days of Tour

On the 1st Day of Tour Frazer said to me  Pee Wee will actually play a game!
On the 2nd Day of Tour Frazer said to me Boner threw it straight!
On the 3rd Day of Tour Frazer said to me Leader fuckin pass it!
On the 4th Day of Tour Frazer said to me James actually caught it!
On the 5th Day of Tour Frazer said to me Toms Fuckin Great!
On the 6th Day of Tour Frazer said to me Rob Shaffer catch it!
On the 7th Day of Tour Frazer said to me Kendall loss some weight!
On the 8th Day of Tour Frazer said to me Mandyís shagging Alison!
On the 9th Day of Tour Frazer said to me Sleepy will you wake up!
On the 10th Day of Tour Frazer said to me Teflonís fuckin caught one!
On the 11th Day of Tour Frazer said to me Moonhead is stunning!
On the 12th Day of Tour Frazer said to me Iím not Ginger!!!!!!!!!!!!!